Speech by Aasiyah Dhanani

A speech made by one of the members on Suicide: The Tragedy of Hopelessness Within the heart of our 21st century technologically advanced society we are experiencing the phenomenon of young people killing themselves. Suicide is a growing problem. It is the third most frequent cause of death among teenagers. Teenage suicide has also become a very painful problem too, many young people are ending their lives, many others are attempting suicide without actually dying and more think about suicide. Suicide is hard to understand. It leaves hundreds of questions that no one can answer, but the answers can come only from the one who is dead and he or she is not anymore available. A suicidal person was depressed, angry, unhappy, or scared, feeling hopeless, lonely and guilty. There are many reasons for teenagers to commit suicide. Some might commit or attempt suicide because of drugs, alcohol and an unwanted pregnancy. Others might commit or attempt suicide because they are abused sexually or emotionally, a loss of a loved one, rejection in a relationship, divorce or even moving to a new place. There are many possibilities why a teenager committed suicide. Every teenager who actually commits suicide successfully many others seriously think about it or make some kind of attempt. After a teenager has committed suicide others go on a “severe emotional distress”. If a young person knows about one or more people who have committed suicide in their community to a solution to their problems then that person is at risk to attempt suicide or commit suicide. One suicide can set off others. Suicide is like a germ which spreads in a confined place or a closed society. These places often experience a lot of suicidal cases. E.g. army brackets, boarding schools, colleges, mental hospitals, and prisons where one death inspires others. Many teenagers also commit suicide as they are put on a lot of peer pressure in small society and confined places. “When one kid goes ahead and does the unthinkable, it’s almost like as if it gives others the permission to do the unthinkable as well.” Reading about a suicide doesn’t make someone suicidal. If a teenager is not ready seriously thinking about suicide he or she will not be affected by reports on others deaths. However if he or she is already at risk of committing suicide or attempting suicide for attention from the community, then reports of others deaths give them the message that its okay to kill yourself. Even if he or she does not know any of the people who killed themselves as a solution to their problems he or she will still go ahead and commit or attempt suicide. Recently suicide rates show that different social structures, cultures, religions and ways of thinking can have a different impact on a teenager’s decision to commit suicide or to avoid it. All religions have different attitudes about suicide. Islam and Christianity both made suicide a sin. Both religions say that “only God can give life, so only God should be able to take it away.” Pressure on teenagers to get involved in sexual relationships that they may not be ready to handle, both emotional pressures to an intense romantic relationship can increase their thoughts towards committing or attempting suicide. Then the consequences of such a relationship can result to a STD (sexually transmitted disease) or an unwanted pregnancy. Pregnancy can increase the stress on a teenager. A pregnancy or the fear of getting pregnant is the worst night mare for a young girl. She would have the fear in her that her boyfriend and her family would abandon her. She may believe that she has no where to turn so death seems to be the only solution to her. Suicide can be found in any class, race and gender. Rich and poor, black, white and Asian, male and female there are many types of people in different communities/ society who attempt suicide. There are no specific types or prominent characteristic or symptoms of who many attempt suicide. Although many people make some kind of attempt to commit suicide and are rescued never try again, other people try several times. They could try attempting it in a single period or at various times in their lives. Teenage suicide and suicide attempts are most of the time set off by a particular incident- a trigger event. Sometimes this event may be quite small to others; such as a fight with a friend, a D in chemistry but sometimes the trigger may be quite serious such as a death of a relative. The trigger, sometimes may seem small to others, but to the one who is considering suicide it has a lot of importance. (Generally a suicide is caused by a failure or a kind of loss). Some trigger events… A parent’s death A break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend A move to another city A failure in school The death of a parent is a nightmare to anybody. No one takes it lightly. Most teenagers who experience death of a loved one feel pain that is long lasting and want to end it. When parents divorce, most teenagers feel that in some kind of way that their world has stopped turning. However, there are many teenagers who go through a death of a loved one or a divorce without committing suicide even if they feel a long lasting pain in them. Some people might think it is now a new challenge that life has brought them. A trigger event even may also set off a deeper sense of depression, a feeling that may lead into a suicidal feeling. Depression is a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness the feeling that nothing in the world is right and will never be right again. Often people who feel depressed believe that a single event in their life will make everything better, such as a new boyfriend or girlfriend, summer vacation, an improved grade, a new friend, or moving into a bigger house. When this event happens and the person doesn’t feel any better and the depression carries on, the person may get an overwhelming feeling that nothing in life works any more. That they may have lost all they had and can’t get it back. Everyone has a secret that they don’t want anyone to know. And of course all teenagers have them too. A secret that gets someone to commit suicide is not just any secret, it’s mostly that the teenager feels rightly or wrongly about it. The secret may threaten his or her entire world. Such secrets have to do with sex. If a girl gets pregnant she may think that if ever her parents found out they would be furious, or disappointed at her, or hurt, or ashamed. This secret may be terrible if anyone found out as there is so much pressure coming from her community/society and her parents. The girl will feel that if she can commit suicide and not face her parent’s or the society’s punishments then she would go on and do it. To her this could be the only solution to her problem. The sad thing is that by killing herself she prevents herself from finding out the truth about how her parents would have reacted, when they would have found out that she was pregnant. By committing suicide she doesn’t resolve any difficult feelings she had about being a young mother, it doesn’t bring any peace. It only takes away your feelings and you aren’t going to get them back. Part of the pressure on teenagers in our community/society is the idea that somehow you have to be happy all the time. If you have any problems you should solve them. If you are feeling bad that its your fault and if you’re poor or in a bad situation, pull your socks up and get working. You can’t be feeling down and upset. “Life is a gift itself not only living it”. When a teenager attempts suicide, what does it mean? At first glance we might say that the person wanted to die. But that isn’t true; the teenager may not want death but rather, a different life. When a teenager commits suicide they don’t actually want to die, they are thinking life is intolerable. They aren’t thinking where they are going, they are thinking of what they are escaping from. Part of what a teenager wants when they commit suicide is for the pain to simple stop. They think that if they died it wouldn’t hurt them as much as it does. My own opinion on teenage suicide… No one attempts or commits suicide unless something, at least in their opinion, is terribly wrong with their life. When someone commits suicide or even attempts it, they want to get the pain they have stored in them out and connect with their feelings. They want their lives to have a meaning. Anyone who attempts suicide, in my opinion, (which is not professional one) is a total loser. They must not value themselves and their life that they decide to commit suicide. They choose death as their only solution to sort out their problems. No one can accomplish their goals by ending their life. To have self-respect means to be free from the external influences. To have respect for the self means to constantly express the positive that is within. It means to have the right state of mind and the right way of working with the self especially when things are not going well. The basis of my constant experience of progress is the ability to give respect to myself under all circumstances, i.e., whether others give me respect or not. Also when I am not able to achieve the desired results or when I am not able to be successful, at that time I need to be good to myself. Then I will be able to be the best and do the best with what I have. They choose to take an easy way out but what did they really gain out of it. Why kill yourself? It just doesn’t make sense. Instead go out there, puck up the courage with a positive attitude and go do something about your problem. No one said life was easy. Everyone has their ups and downs; it’s just your turn now. We all go through it, but we stay persistent to try and find a way out to better the situation rather then giving it all up and committing suicide. Put the time and energy you put in thinking about a way to commit suicide into finding a solution to your problem and start working on it. Give your life a meaning and respect yourself at least you should value yourself. That's what’s more important than caring about everything else. Always remember that all obstacles in life are our challenges to overcome and become better, smarter and enhance our development. Just remember there is no such thing as failure, it is our opportunity to grow and become a better person. God is always holding our hand, we just need to be certain about that and then we can handle it Aasiyah Dhanani Bibliography: Frankel, Bernard., Kranz, Rachel. Teenage Suicide. New York: Facts on File, inc, 1997. Please note that views presented by this speech are those of the speaker and do not necessarily reflect those of the Speakers' Corner.